Sweet ninja moves

the scene: Two ninjas, the aged master and the promising apprentice, furiously dueling in the misty mystic jungle. Suddenly the fight, which had been balanced on the edge of a blade, shifts in the youth's favor. With a triumphant gleam in his young ninja eyes, he presses forward as his weakened master backs into a tree. As he prepares the final strike, the master smiles mysteriously.
"Ah, young one, you never did learn..."
The ninja leaps up into the tree and grabs the blue gold-speckled egg of the warbling wooster finch, extracts the acidic yolk, and flings it into the youth's astonished eyes.
"to mind your surroundings."


Despite the amount of acrobatic karate, bathrobe sashes tied around the waist, and hi-yah exclamations; I am convinced that Sam would never actually make a good ninja.  This is because, as Hollywood has taught me, he does not "mind his surroundings"

Example #1
Sarah: Sam, it's time to go right now.  Get your socks and shoes on.
Sam:  running around frantically. I don't know where they are!!!!
Sarah: Sam.  I. Just. Gave. Them. To. You.  Where did you put them?
Sam: almost hysterical.  I don't know!!!!
Sarah:  sighs.  They are right here.  By the TV, where you were sitting when I gave them to you.  Put them on.

Example #2
Sarah:  While eating a bottle, Josh he has given a gold-medal sneeze and shot copious amounts of snot out his nose.  Sam!  Quick!  get me a diaper wipe, please!
Sam:  Okay! Okay! literally circling around the diaper wipe bucket, but somehow unable to see it.
Sarah:  Sam.  It's right there.  You're walking around it.
Sam:  Where?  begins to wander off, still searching for the elusive wipes.
Sarah:  Sam.  Stop walking.  Turn around.  Sam spins quickly.  Sarah takes a deep breath.  Sam.   Face the TV.  Now look down.
Sam: entranced by Dino Train.  What?  oh.  okay.  Hey!  the wipes!  Here you go mommy!!
Sarah: Thank you Sam.  Wipes Josh's nose, who has by now finished the bottle.

Example #3
Sam:  wailing.  I can't find my blanket!
Sarah:  fixing dinner. It's behind the love seat.
Sam:  now wandering and wailing.  I- can't- find- my- blaaaanket!!
Sarah:  Sam.  Listen to me.  It is behind the love seat.  the little couch.  where your fort is.
Sam:  distressed to the point of hysterics I don't know!  where is my fort?!
Sarah:  stirring the corn to keep it from boiling over.  Behind the love seat.
Sam.  smiling blissfully Hey mommy!  I found my blanket!

I can't help it.  I still love this boy.  And bless his little lost heart, if he wants to be a ninja we'll find a way.

This is, for the untrained eye, the precursor to the highly difficult spin-kick-jump.